Here we are, already deep into summer, with back-to-school products on shelves and all. For the majority of us, summer is the time when we can schedule some of the big events—vacations, celebrations, and the like. We invest untold hours into planning and preparing for such, but it often seems like you blink and it’s over.
As I highlighted in Capping off the Everyday, we usually build up and put a lot of pressure on these events. We might spend weeks, months, and even years visualizing how things will go. Rarely, however, do matters turn out the way we imagined, as certain guests don’t show or various circumstances beyond our control wreak havoc of some sort. Whether it be an insignificant snag or a major unraveling, it can overshadow the event altogether…if we allow it to, that is.
What do I mean by that? In short, it’s a choice how we enjoy and reflect on something, regardless of what did or didn’t go right. Sure, it’s tough to look beyond a big disappointment or utter unraveling, and trust me, I’m the queen of overthinking and second-guessing. Over time, though, I’ve endeavored to disregard the messy parts of an occasion and isolate the highlights.
Even with the most well-planned vacation or event, something is bound to arise that causes temporary chaos, if nothing else. In retrospect, we can usually troubleshoot it better than we did in the moment, given we’re not under the same pressure. This can send us spiraling into the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve zone and actually make us even more displeased. How can we avoid opening up that sinkhole?
For starters, we need to be fair with ourselves. We were there, so we, of all people, should realize that we did what we thought was best at that time. Maybe matters unfolded later that revealed a better solution, but we probably couldn’t wait around for that epiphany. If we’re fortunate, somebody else may see the remedy we’re missing and offers a hand. Either way, we shouldn’t fault ourselves simply for being human and slipping up on occasion.
Secondly, we ought to step back and evaluate the aspects that will honestly matter in a few years, if not sooner. I’ve been a part of parties where it’s rained, been scorching hot, and/or had seed pods pouring down on people’s food. Though such circumstances made me grind my teeth—and yes, even cry!—as they played out, they didn’t ruin the memories. Eventually, we laughed about the disruptions and what they added to the day. Besides, others may not be aware of something that went awry and could’ve enjoyed the experience all the more because of what you termed a dilemma.
At the heart of anything we plan, what matters most is our motivation for doing it. Whether we’re trying to honor someone, celebrate a milestone, and/or provide a good time for ourselves and others, we can find solace in that. Even if this or that didn’t meet our expectations, people remember our efforts, and that alone can be a gift.
Hence, we have many reasons to expel a satisfied sigh afterward, despite the groan-worthy tidbits. Memories of all sorts may be likened to a bouquet of flowers. When a florist sculpts it, he/she has to trim off the not-so-pretty dead-ends and such so that the rest of the blooms stand out and inspire beauty. Likewise, we should weed out the moments that marred the occasion and concentrate on the ones that touched us, which we can cherish for years to come.
KarinaBartow.com 
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