At this time of year, many set goals in hopes of enriching their lives in some way. We might reevaluate certain habits that we’ve fallen into that don’t bring us the joy or practical benefit we want to gain. We might establish new habits that would serve us better. Whatever the case, the root of these changes is pretty basic—to find more happiness.
According to a famous saying, “Happiness is an inside job.” That’s very true, as you can’t count on other people, belongings, or other external sources to force you to feel elation, even if they bring such to different people. Sadly, we often hear about those with a lot of money, possessions, and power still having their share of misery. Yes, it takes oneself to open his or her heart up to happiness, regardless of their circumstances.
Just the same, does this mean nobody else can impact your happiness? Far from it! Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, people influence you for better or worse. We should remember, though, that fact goes both ways: we influence others, too. When we keep that in mind and endeavor to exert that influence in the right way, we can end up reaping more happiness for ourselves.
I recently heard a quote that struck me as significant. Psychologist and frequent contributor to Psychology Today, Chris Peterson, frequently summed up a major key to happiness in the phrase, “Other people matter. Period.” A founding father of positive psychology, he continued, “Anything that builds relationships between and among people is going to make you happy.”
Peterson wasn’t alone in viewing socialization as crucial to one’s wellbeing. Harvard University conducted a study on happiness and health, beginning during the Great Depression in 1938 and continuing for 85 years. It tracked the participants over the course of their lives, checking in on their physical and emotional states through challenges and triumphs. Originally, researchers expected to determine that certain biological factors governed satisfaction and longevity. The following decades proved otherwise.
“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” Robert Waldinger, director of the study, stated. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”
The Harvard Gazette continued, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. That finding proved true across the board among both the Harvard men and the inner-city participants.”
All of us have selfish moments, and we need some occasional “me time” to cope with everyday concerns. If we’re not careful, though, we can convince ourselves that showing care to other people just gets in our way. I even heard of someone saying that listening to people simply isn’t on their to-do list. As mentioned at the outset, our goals typically consist of things we map out for ourselves alone.
The facts attest to the value in relationships, however. Despite our natural tendency to conclude that we’re better off without having to deal with others, we’re programmed to socialize and will thrive from healthy interactions. Putting ourselves out for others takes effort and sacrifice, but after we get past that initial obstacle, under most conditions, we’ll gain a better relationship with the individual concerned and more self-respect.
In the months ahead, especially when you encounter unhappy travails, why not opt to do something for somebody else, rather than retreat into yourself? Just like regular exercise or diets, it entails time, exertion, and self-discipline, but it produces a better lifestyle in the long run.
KarinaBartow.com 
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