A while back, one of my closest friends told me that something appealing about me is my confidence. This surprised me for several reasons. First of all, I grapple with my share of insecurities, and I’ve never counted on attaining many of the achievements I’ve been privileged enough to garner. Secondly, a quality I highly esteem for myself and others is humility. I’ve always preferred to root for the athlete with the less phenomenal stats but is kind and humble as opposed to the superstar who will go into the Hall of Fame…and he likes to remind everyone of that.
Thus, hearing that I was confident made me do some self-analyzing in an effort not to develop such an ego. As I pondered the matter, I began to realize that confidence doesn’t always mean you have an overabundance of pride. In truth, we all need an adequate amount of both to be successful. Why so?
An article in Psychology Today lists the following as benefits of having self-confidence: less fear and anxiety, greater motivation, more resilience, improved relationships, and a stronger sense of your authentic self. We might equate confidence with having a lot of success, but the article brings out how we can build confidence through small accomplishments. When you overcome even a minor setback, for instance, you can gain confidence from how you handled it, strengthening your perseverance to face future challenges.
With such self-confidence, pride will often follow. That doesn’t mean, however, that you’ll be an egotist. Psychology Today published another article contrasting healthy pride with unhealthy pride, the latter of which is typically rooted in a lack of self-confidence. While someone with healthy pride is proud of his/her achievements, they have the humility to acknowledge others’ contributions in their success. They don’t need to tout their own talent and compare it with that of others, thus cultivating good relationships.
Further, Pride: The Secret of Success by Jessica Tracy, Ph.D. states that healthy pride is authentic, with a realistic view of one’s abilities. Tracy and other experts contrast that with “hubristic” pride, when an individual boasts exaggerated claims about his/her aptitudes.
In my rumination, I was also struck by the fact that many of the people who have impacted me the most are confident. Though I gravitate toward the underdog like I mentioned earlier, I’ve learned that so-called stars of a team aren’t always the pompous jerks Hollywood depicts them to be.
In My Story, I recount the support I received from my alma mater’s football team, among whom were the captains. Of course, they were talented, earning the confidence and pride they possessed, yet their self-confidence moved them to reach out to someone like me.
Hence, confidence—in the right proportions—can coexist with humility, instead of wipe it out. Likewise, pride isn’t always a characteristic of becoming an egomaniac but may be manifested in a uniting way if it has healthy origins. Along with many other qualities, little bits of them here and there can form together as a beautiful mosaic that makes up our personality.
KarinaBartow.com 