Checking in on Unchecked Boxes

With 2026 now underway, many may be planning everything they have on their to-do list or vision board for this new year. Maybe you reflect on what you didn’t accomplish or manage to fit in your schedule last year, so you decide to carry those unchecked boxes over to this one. The fresh start always provides the chance to take stock of the goals that really matter versus the ones that are good in theory but not so great in reality.

At times like this, we might even think about longer-term feats or experiences we haven’t been able to checkmark. Life flies by so fast that we can lose track of the opportunities that aren’t attainable anymore. We may want to sign up for a program or another venture, only to discover it’s no longer available…or worse, that we’ve aged out!

How can we avoid feeling disappointed by the boxes we didn’t check and avert a midlife crisis while we’re at it?

Being disabled, I’ve had to accept a lot of boxes going unchecked, as they were completely out of my grasp because of my circumstances. Underneath those boxes, however, there were some that were possible but maybe not so plausible, and those were the ones that drove me insane. For the most part, they were unessential and perhaps silly but rooted in observations I’d made among those around me. For instance, I remember being obsessed with a picture of my family pedal boating before I was born, longing to ride in one someday.

How should we view boxes like these? With boxes that are impossible to check, it’s best to come to terms with it, at least eventually. Constantly wishing to fulfill the unachievable is like rolling a bowling ball up a hill and hoping it’ll stay at the top; you’ll end up frustrated and possibly injured from it rolling back at you. Likewise, aiming for something out of your capabilities can bring you needless pain.

The other possible but maybe not so plausible ones can be a different story. The keys to dealing with them are patience, adaptability, and usually more patience. You don’t have to dismiss them altogether, but you also should forego a deadline. If there are measures you can take to help make it happen, get busy! As I’ve shared before, I didn’t know if I had it in me to write a whole novel, both because of only having use of one hand and because of the mental work of crafting a plot. Nonetheless, I opened a word processor document one day and made the leap, without a deadline or high expectations, and the rest is history.

In some cases, we might realize we checked a box without recognizing it. We may have a specific scenario in mind, and when it doesn’t occur that exact way, we leave the box unchecked. In retrospect, though, we could see that we garnered the gist of what we wanted from a different experience. In truth, we have a lot of the to-dos on our list for the feeling we want from them rather than the activities themselves.

What about the ones that go unchecked, despite our best efforts and hopes? We can scratch them off and add more viable boxes. Disappointment can still creep in and that’s okay.

Honesty can soften that, however. Going back to my pedal boating dreams, I did check that box. While it was fun and I cherish the memory, it didn’t go as I fantasized. The pedals were wet, for one thing, and I didn’t have the strength in my legs to do my part. My understanding captain made do, but it forced me to admit that this box wasn’t up my alley! When others went unchecked after that, I acknowledged that I may not enjoy those as much as I’d like.

Whether we check every box or not, we shouldn’t allow it to dictate our joy or self-worth. They may be in paper or in our head, but either way, they’re two-dimensional, at best. Sure, they can give us something to work for or dream, but they can also limit us if that’s all we care about. Instead, we should be determined to live our three-dimensional lives, checking boxes we never fathomed to make.