Last month, Emma Heming Willis, wife of actor Bruce Willis, shared how she’s dealing with the struggles of dealing with her husband’s battle with Alzheimer’s Disease. In her candid video, she brought out that keeping a positive outlook amidst such hardship isn’t easy, but it takes “a conscience effort every single day to live the best life that I can.” She elaborated, saying, “I have to put my best foot forward for myself and my family.”
For my whole life, I’d say I’ve done a reasonable job carrying out Emma’s outlook as I’ve confronted my Cerebral Palsy. Like her, I believe outsiders probably think I manage better than I actually do to stay optimistic, but in general, I’d give myself a solid B+. From the time I was born, I had a jovial nature, so much so that the first morning I didn’t greet my mom with a smile from my crib, she immediately knew I had to be coming down with something.
Because of that natural inclination, I’m not sure I ever really considered happiness and positivity as choices. It was just in my makeup…until something negative arose and blemished it, that is. When that happened, I tended to give in, deeming it normal and understandable. When you get hurt, you cry, mope, and maybe smash an unwanted gift, right?
Emma’s words gave me new perspective, however. While I haven’t been undergoing the tragic challenges she has, I’m coming off a disheartening summer that left my optimism and mental fortitude waning. Shortly before she posted her video, I was struggling to see how I could regain my emotional footing despite the obstacles around me.
Her thoughts made me realize that, just as I have to exert energy and forethought into each wobbly physical step I take, I need to give my mental wellbeing similar attention. I can’t just allow whatever concerns that are thrown at me to topple my emotional balance, even when the circumstances completely merit it.
So, how do we do that? Emma suggested, “Take a moment out of your day…to look for something beautiful.” Once again, this entails literal effort. Our eyes may often wander while our brains are locked in on our troubles, and we might not register what our pupils are seeing. Hence, we need to direct our focus—with both our physical and mental vision—to that object that will breed joy.
I’m not sure how “healthy” it is to take psychological advice from pop culture figures, but I also appreciated some thoughts from actress Maria Menounos. In a recent interview, she encouraged people to turn their worry into wonder. Instead of expecting bad news, you opt to wonder what good news might be in store. Thoughts and emotions tend to tumble like dominoes, so if you set the right one at the lead, the following ones will ride that same momentum.
Most important, I’ve found talking out your pain to be a vital resource. As I’ve shared multiple times, outside perspectives do matter because they can help you find your way out of your own maze. During my challenges this summer, I reached out to a former teacher I hadn’t been in touch with for years, and I benefitted immensely from her guidance.
Our minds are complex, powerful, and valuable. Like any necessary possessions, we need to maintain them so they serve us well. There’s no way to upgrade to a new, shiny model! If we’re not careful, they will run on autopilot, which can take us down a dangerous path. Thus, we must make that conscience effort to remain engaged in the driver’s seat and map out a chosen destination. If we get a little lost or end up in need of a repair, we should feel free to ask for help.
KarinaBartow.com 
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