We’ve all heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” Some dispute that, feeling you can never get over certain pain and tragedies. Even I have rolled my eyes at the notion, being plagued by loss and heartache for many years after the initial cause of it.
As I alluded to in several posts over the past year, I’ve dealt with disheartening events in recent months. The mix of feelings I’ve experienced has cast a new light on emotional pain for me. Throughout these difficulties, I’ve analyzed myself to the point of exhaustion, but I finally made a connection that I’d like to share today.
When we suffer physical injuries, we take appropriate measures to try to recover. If it’s a simple scrape or the like, we might clean the wound with a disinfectant and cover it with a Band-Aid. For something more major, we might need to seek out a physician and submit to whatever treatment they prescribe. Regardless, we pretty much know the healing process is going to take some time and probably effort.
Revisiting the time heals all theory, that does apply to the majority of physical maladies. However, injuries and conditions still may leave lasting side effects even after you initially recover from the incident. We all get scars that never go away, and patients of broken bones often experience pain at times from weather patterns or other changes. Most traumatically, some have to lose limbs and so forth to save their lives, but of course, such a measure creates lasting challenges.
Likewise, we can eventually heal from loss and tragedy, but it doesn’t mean we’re going to be the way we were before our sorrow. Rather than being convinced we’re broken and will never recover, we need to accept our new situation and keep moving forward. We would never expect a physical wound to disappear just because we tell it to, so why would we try to do such with our emotional scars?
Another similarity our physical injuries and inner battles that I’ve noted is the way they affect different people differently. For example, someone might fall off a ladder and not break anything, where another person became permanently disabled. Likewise, two people can go through the same experience but manifest completely different emotions. Such differences can lead to frustration at a time when you need unification. You can make the mistake of concluding that the other person is fine just because they aren’t showing their feelings like you are.
Instead of letting tensions sizzle, it’s best to give one another space to heal as they need to. Just as you wouldn’t pick a fight with your fellow passenger in a car wreck over them having bruises while you suffered a concussion, we can’t fault someone for being affected by a personal trauma in a different way than we are. Chances are they’re still in pain, even if it’s less visible.
Psychologists outline the various status of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but they also point out that recovery isn’t linear. We all have to discover and adapt to our own path, being patient with ourselves as we go. We should let ourselves hurt, especially when wounds are fresh, because it’s only natural. After a certain point, however, we need to strive to stop reeling, one way or another. We need to immerse ourselves in something that will bring us joy, like a calming salve does for a festering wound. It’s no secret that writing is top among my coping mechanisms, and my poem below helped me process the ups and downs of this anguish-filled chapter of my life.
While we may never fully heal from some upheavals, we can focus on getting to that next step of recovery, going from metaphorical cast to a brace to a Band-Aid and so on. Like with physical damage, though, we ought not pick at it and reopen it, as hard as that may be. Rather, we must do our best to leave it in the rearview mirror and endeavor to regain our inner strength.
Also See
The Mental Work in Your Mental Wellbeing
KarinaBartow.com 
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