As I shared in Stamping Out Self-Doubt, I have a realist inside of me, always warring with my optimistic side, and telling me things probably won’t turn out the way I hope they will. Beyond the professional setbacks I mentioned then, I’ve also had to live a life of limitations and disappointments due to my Cerebral Palsy. While I’m naturally a cheerful person, it takes work to accept my inability to do things that others can do so easily.
Contentment has been a significant quality in my life and something I’ve done my best to master. It’s helped me to keep my optimism intact. I’ve had plenty of instances where I didn’t achieve it and ended up in an emotional free fall because of focusing on what I couldn’t do. Thus, I’ve built up a layer of crust, so to speak, that prevents me from even entertaining pursuits that don’t seem feasible.
Of course, I still carry out various endeavors with the same persistence that has propelled me to this point. Nonetheless, I try to protect my heart from getting too invested in a pipe dream. For instance, back when I was attempting to get a literary agent or publisher for my debut novel, I would often picture myself working with the agent or company based on the bio and information they provided about themselves. Then, I would receive a rejection, sometimes within an hour, and have to strip away all of those momentary fantasies. It didn’t take me long to adopt the habit of just submitting my work without getting attached to a name.
In my mind, I’ve termed this mechanism I have as a means of remaining content. If you’re happy with where you are, you won’t be disheartened with prospects that don’t pan out. It doesn’t mean you’re settling, but rather, it can require building appreciation for the circumstances of which you can’t escape. I haven’t really equated it with fear, but I’ve viewed it as a practical, realistic balance.
On the other hand, I didn’t recognize the underlying risk if you don’t keep it in check. While you do avoid the crash of a disappointing development, you can also rob yourself of the joy and fun you get from deeming a dream possible. Even the dreams you have accomplished may not have ended up the way you envisioned, but wasn’t the process of imagining them exciting, just the same?
I used to think contentment and hopefulness were opposites, but now, I’m realizing that they can be complements. Sure, contentment means that you’re happy with your current circumstances, but it doesn’t mean you’re forced to stay hanging there forever. Even with the natural growing process, we might be content to be a certain age as a child because of different advantages and surroundings we have then, but the majority of kids don’t want to stay in that age for their entire lives. Rather, they usually want to grow bigger and older so that they can find other milestones and hang out in them for a while, too.
True, we all have limitations of one sort or another and won’t accomplish every dream our imaginations design. There are a lot of plateaus in a lifetime, when we might conclude we won’t reach any grander heights than we already have. At those points, contentment will serve you well…but so can hopefulness. Just like when we’re about to disembark from a Ferris Wheel and have to wait for others below us to get off first, we should enjoy the view while we slowly ride along, at the same time as we’re pondering what attraction to head toward next!
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